So we know how two of the favorite superhero peril tropes are A) Threaten a Loved One and B) Villain unwittingly taking the in-civvies Hero as a hostage. Venom and Eddie’s situation presents an opportunity for a special hybrid of both.
Because honestly, both Venom and Eddie have all the subtlety of a firework stand in a bonfire and X Evil Organization is bound to tail the burly man-eating monster to Eddie’s home and
Goons, breaking down the door: Alright Brock, no more games
Eddie: What
Goons: Don’t play dumb here, Eddie. We know the truth and our employer is determined to have a long, violent chat with the bastard eating all of his men. So we’ll make this simple for you:
Goons: Where is your 10 ft tall cannibal boyfriend?
Eddie:
Venom, inside Eddie: Eddie. Eddie, tell them where he is
Eddie, going thru every stage of grief and inventing new ones: ………………..um
Venom, all up in Eddie’s everything, every slime cell of him laughing to tears: Tell them where your boyfriend is, Eddie
im honestly gonna get it. you had me at “made a homophobe so angry”
This actually happened! I’ve always felt that if you buy a book where the stated summary is “two princesses attempt to fight dragons and get married” you don’t really have a right to be mad when the book turns out to be about two princesses attempting to fight dragons and get married but what the hell do I know.
To be fair, maybe the reader expected the princesses to marry the dragons?
Please tell me there’s a sequel where that happens.
BUT ONLY IF THE DRAGONS ARE ALSO LADIES.
Actually, the main complaint was that it was “historically inaccurate” for two princesses to be allowed to get married. Which was weird to me, since this story is not set on earth and I’m pretty sure it is historically accurate for gay couples to be allowed to get married on this super convenient wish-fulfillment fantasy world that I concocted after logging 300 hours in Skyrim.
Curiously enough, she didn’t complain about the dragons being inaccurate.
I am so mad right now omg! I saw this book a while back…on a blog? In a tweet? I can’t remember. But they didn’t really describe the plot! At all!
They made it sound very stereotypical, hetero prince/princess relationship, with a bit of female friendship as maybe a side plot. There wasn’t even a mention of dragons! Ugh.
Anyway. I need this book six months ago, and I’m getting it ASAP.
WHAT.
WHAT.
ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME.
THIS BOOK IS GAY. IT’S AGGRESSIVELY GAY. THE PRINCE IS DEAD BEFORE THE STORY EVEN STARTS. I CALL HIM PRINCE NOT-APPEARING-IN-THIS-BOOK.
WHO WROTE THIS HETERONORMATIVE SLANDER ABOUT MY CHILD I WILL DRIVE TO THEIR HOUSE AND CUT UP THEIR SHRUBBERY.
STEAL THEIR GARDEN GNOMES AND THREATEN NOT TO RETURN THEM UNTIL THEY RETRACT THEIR GROSS HETERO SLANDER
i just walked past the apartment beneath mine and through an open window i could hear my downstairs neighbor crying faintly while the song jolene played in the background and im just like… bitch are you okay…?
I actually ended up going back downstairs to check on her and brought some leftover cookies I baked this afternoon. she’s very sweet and going through a Breakup Mood™️ after being cheated on. she’s coming over to my gf and I’s annual bad movie night on Friday and she even let me pet her cat named Clarence
my gf thinks it’s funny but very fitting that our downstairs neighbor was able to summon a concerned lesbian just by playing jolene while crying about being done dirty by a man
